The Vanishing Acts Almanac

A$6,865
of $6,000 targetyrs ago
Successful on 7th Feb 2016 at 8:55PM.
  The Vanishing Acts Almanac, an A-Z handbook about the ones who were pushed off the 1980's music stage. A time inhabited by hundreds of flesh and blood bands that lost their way. Destroying suburban bungalows. Making music. Occasionally having their stomachs pumped. Gigging every night. Across the city.

 Lunatics. Virtuosos. Repeat offenders. Original musicians representing a wide range of styles.

 Inventing styles...

  …Following a late night gig in 2012, I was fortunate enough to be handed a folder by a friend from the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology (Department of Forensic Musicology). Inside was a document titled The Vanishing Acts Almanac. The author of this work, a live music eccentric on the Melbourne circuit not sighted since the late 1980’s, is (or was) Pembroke “Pemmy” O’Hear. A tall man who sought no company and despised the saxophone, he was also known around town as “Phantom Pemmy” and “Pemmy the Dead.”

 Pemmy’s car was found abandoned at the Todd Road Exit service station at the entry to the West Gate Bridge in 2009. His car was unlocked. The words “Never adjust your heart” cut into the steering wheel.

 The Vanishing Acts Almanac manuscript was left on the back seat.

 Of course this is all potentially unmitigated bullshit. But when is the truth ever guaranteed? Watched the news lately?

 The Vanishing Acts Almanac reveals a meticulously fabricated alphabet of band bios. An underground history of a forgotten Melbourne music scene in the 80s. Those musicians who glowed fleetingly at the callous precipice of fame, the maddeningly ordinary bands that were never going to make it, and the bat shit crazies that should have been locked away before they tried.

 Who were these intriguing musicians Pemmy documented while popular history consigned them to obscurity, and what became of them? And what of Pemmy O’Hear? Did he jump off the West Gate Bridge in 2009, or was he really spotted at the Narwee ‘Battle of the Bands’ south of Sydney as recently as 2013?

 The Vanishing Acts Almanac is a book designed with the potential to be a transmedia work. Fact and fiction are loaded into the narrative and deception is encouraged. But the publication of the almanac is the linchpin before I take it to film producers. I have been writing this book for four years. It is intended to be subversive, satirical and to allow modern audiences to engage with the treachery of the project. To be entertained by the sweet-sounding dreamscape of nostalgia.

 I wholeheartedly believe in this project.

 Because it is funny as all fuck.


Olde Smiddy


Pembroke "Pemmy" O'Hear




Rewards

Album covers featured in Rewards are actual entries from The Vanishing Acts Almanac.

How The Funds Will Be Used

• I intend to self publish 500-750 copies of the book. [$2,500 approx.]
• A website for The Vanishing Acts Almanac for purchase of physical copies, including Paypal services. [$800-$1200]
• ISBN and miscellaneous expenditure. [$500]
• The book will require professional scanning for transfer into e-book format. [$500}
• Further costs include payments for publicising the book on social media, final art work, a book launch, marketing, and crowdfunding % and fees. [$1000]
• The remainder will afford a writer like myself the permission of a short period of time for final editing, proofing, distribution,  and any "You didn't expect that did you?" scenarios.

I hope to publish in the first half of 2016. Ideally, April/May.

The Challenges

Self published, what can go wrong? What?

The Witch's Kiss

The pledge that gets The Vanishing Acts Almanac over the line. I'll let you read the album cover art for the title of The Witch's Kiss '7 inch release from 1980. But I know it is that hard to pledge and I feel each scissor with you.

1 chosen

Est. delivery is Feb 16

The "Lord Sinatra"

Unlike the 1986 album "Chicken Twistie Sandwich" by Lord Sinatra, your $20 will not go unappreciated. My thanks will ring out like that illusive favourable review Lord Sinatra would have killed for.

5 chosen

Est. delivery is Feb 16

The "Les Inspecteur"

An e-book download of The Vanishing Acts Almanac, and much tropical indie vibes like those created by Les Inspecteurs; way ahead of their time on 1987's "End Side 1."

8 chosen

Est. delivery is May 16

The "Hard Zakka"

A physical, first edition copy of The Vanishing Acts Almanac. A hard copy as hard as Hard Zakka's 1985 drumfest "Zom Creme."

14 chosen

Est. delivery is May 16

The "Bone Sparrow"

A physical copy of The Vanishing Acts Almanac signed by Olde Smiddy & Pemmy O'Hear, and an invite to the book launch. A visionary package, much like the "Spaghetti of Multi-coloured Cables" Ep delivered by Bone Sparrow in 1989.

7 chosen

Est. delivery is May 16

The "Komadozer"

Everything stated previously, and exclusive access to a musical track by one of the bands featured in The Vanishing Acts Almanac. Solid, like Komadozer's self titled debut in 1988.

9 chosen

Est. delivery is May 16

The "Andy Calcutta"

Everything stated previously, and a unique opportunity to put forward your idea to Olde Smiddy for a 'vanishing act' that could very well end up in the hard copy of the book you will receive as part of your generosity. A rare reward, much like Andy Calcutta's 1988 triumph "Heaventitus For Beginners."

5 chosen

Est. delivery is May 16

The "Runaway Earthman"

Named after the 1984 Ep "Runaway Earthman" by the somewhat misunderstood pop act My Metalstorm, you will receive everything stated previously, plus a t-shirt of a band featured inside The Vanishing Acts Almanac.

3 chosen

Est. delivery is May 16

The "Pharmamusical"

Well, you are the bee's knees now are you not? Hopefully those knees like dub, because like Old Skin Flick's 1982 erotic dub knockout "Pharmamusical," your kindness will bliss and shiver throughout the universe. You will receive everything as stated previously and a chance to speak to Pemmy O'Hear from the grave...

1 chosen

Est. delivery is May 16

The "Rum Slugger"

One of the more controversial entries in The Vanishing Acts Almanac, the fanatical (and occasionally hospitalised) Rum Sluggers demanded respect. Taking lead from their 1982 pub rock giant "We Fucked The Easter Bunny," you will receive everything stated in previous rewards, plus... I will seek out the Easter Bunny, court and romance the Easter Bunny, and do everything within my ageing seductive powers to make love to the Easter Bunny. Because of you.

0 chosen

Est. delivery is May 16